


Enough

by TuppingLiberty



Series: As the Universe Wills It - Force Husbands [12]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Seattle, talking about children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: Modern Seattle AU: A visit to an Erso family barbeque makes Baze nervous.





	1. Chapter 1

2003

Beside him, Baze was tense. Chirrut could tell just from the silence between them. Chirrut quietly slipped his hand over to Baze’s right thigh and squeezed tenderly. He wouldn’t push right now, even though this felt more than just Baze’s regular unease with social events. He’d get Baze through this day, hell, he’d get  _ himself _ through this day, and then they’d talk.  


Baze’s fingers slipped over Chirrut’s on his thigh, feather light, before he presumably gripped the wheel again. 

Chirrut listened to Baze mutter to himself as he tried to find a parking spot. Chirrut’s new boss - at his newish position at the museum, the position that had practically been created for him, was  _ perfect _ for him if he could just hold onto it - lived in suburbia. He felt Baze deftly parallel park, shut off the car, and take a deep breath. He was out of the door before Chirrut could say anything. 

Chirrut opened his own door to the sound of pop music, and laughter, and a lot of children screaming and laughing and crying and- and all the sounds of a kid’s birthday party. Guess they were in the right place. 

He felt Baze’s presence behind him, hovering, because his Baze was like a lost little lamb at this type of thing. So, first things first. Time to find Baze a corner and a companion. He took Baze’s hand and his cane and started tapping his way to the adults. 

“Chirrut! I’m so glad you could make it!” Lyra’s bright voice came from Chirrut’s right, and he automatically turned in that direction and gave and received the light cheek kisses Lyra preferred. 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Chirrut answered sincerely, since he knew how the politics of the museum worked. “And you remember my boyfriend, Baze?” 

Despite the personal politics, at least he knew he and Baze were in a safe space here among the liberal elite of Seattle. The worst they’d get was someone saying Chirrut was their token gay friend (Baze would  _ never _ be the token gay friend), which Chirrut could mostly laugh off. Mostly. 

“Of course. Baze, it’s good to see you,” Lyra said, her voice angling up as she greeted Baze. 

“Is there a present table?”

“Oh! Chirrut, you didn’t have to bring Jyn anything, seriously.” 

Chirrut indicated the bag slung over Baze’s shoulder with a nod of his head. “Well, it’s just something small. I think I spent more money on the Elysian.” He winked as he felt Baze pull the six-pack out. 

“Well, hello, new best friend,” Lyra murmured, the smile evident in her voice. “Let’s just take you over here, away from the people with the wine fetishes who won’t appreciate you.” 

“Is she talking to me or the beer?” Baze leaned down to mutter in his ear, and Chirrut suppressed a laugh. 

Like magic, presenting the beer got Baze in with Galen, who was flipping burgers. Galen drew Baze into a security discussion as they sipped the microbrew; he was an engineer at Microsoft, and wanted Baze to submit a contract proposal. 

Chirrut squeezed Baze around the waist once before taking his beer and leaving them to shop talk. He got about three feet before he was almost bowled over by a bundle of energy. 

“Chirrut!”

He reached down to tug lightly on Jyn’s twin braids. “Happy birthday, little one.” 

“I’m 10!”

“Double digits!” He gasped, making his eyes go wide, and Jyn giggled. 

“Will you show me some new moves?” Jyn started tugging him through the yard, but he kept his cane out to help - she wasn’t always the best at navigation.

“Kids at school giving you trouble?”

“Always,” she answered darkly. 

Chirrut sighed. “You know, we don’t use martial arts to learn how to attack others-” 

“I know, I know,” Jyn said sullenly. 

_ Jeez, the kid’s not even a teenager yet. _

“Have you been practicing what I taught you last time?”

“The breathing and stuff?”

“Yeah, meditation, and ‘stuff,’” he replied lightly, mocking her tone. 

“Sure.” 

“Jyn.” He peered at her with the stern blue-eyed gaze he knew unnerved people. 

Her hand squirmed in his. “Like, once.” 

“Well, let’s start with that.” 

\--------------------

Across the yard, Baze took another sip of beer and nodded at Galen’s handiwork on the grill. Galen could maybe -  _ maybe -  _ be a friend, if Baze wanted him to be one. He was a few years older, but Baze already acted like an old man, anyway, Chirrut was always telling him, so it all evened out in the end. They’d only hung out a few times, but it was enough that Baze felt comfortable being left behind by Chirrut. 

Chirrut had built up quite a little following now, over in the corner of the yard, teaching a bunch of … kids… Baze was bad at ages… various forms.

When the impromptu practice devolved into highly unsophisticated wrestling in the grass, three kids piling on top of Chirrut as he defended himself, sporting the broadest grin Baze had ever seen, he felt both a wash of love and a frisson of anxiety course through him. 

Galen tsked as he added cheese to the burgers. “I swear, Jyn always has to start something.” 

Baze gave him a small smile. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Chirrut. I can’t take him anywhere.” 

Galen laughed, and Baze colored, pleased that the joke had landed as well as it had. He looked back at Galen, who was looking at the giggling pile of children and Chirrut. “I can’t believe she’s already 10, my little stardust.” 

The anxiety that had struck Baze moments before kicked up a notch. He mumbled a reply, tensing, waiting for the question -  _ have you and Chirrut thought about kids? _

Baze could ignore thinking about children most of the time. His line of work never brought him into contact with any kids, and Chirrut’s rarely did. It was really only at social gatherings like this that it became an issue. 

Because it was really, extremely obvious to Baze that Chirrut  _ adored _ kids. He watched his boyfriend - no, Baze corrected himself, much more than that, so much more, would always be more, Chirrut would always be the love of his life - he watched Chirrut pretend to let the kids pin him, and worried. Chirrut adored kids, and Baze adored Chirrut. If Baze told Chirrut that he didn’t want children, would Chirrut leave him? Would it ruin everything?

Galen raised an eyebrow at Baze, and Baze shook his head. “Sorry, thinking about a project.” 

Galen dropped it. Good man, Galen Erso.

\-----------------------

Chirrut waited until Baze was puttering around the kitchen of their small shared apartment - the same one Chirrut had been living in when he’d first met Baze. Baze didn’t seem any less tense despite the fact that they’d made it through the social event intact and with no major social disasters. Baze had attached himself at the hip to Galen the whole day, which had seemed to suit them both just fine, so Chirrut wasn’t exactly sure what was making Baze so tense.  


While Baze did whatever it was Baze was doing -  it sounded like cutting up veggies - Chirrut rummaged around for two glasses, then carefully poured out some milk, and grabbed the stash of oreos. He sat down at the counter across from Baze, setting a glass of milk in front of his boyfriend and opening the package of cookies. 

“What’s this?” Baze’s voice was tense. 

Chirrut leaned his head on his chin and gazed in the direction of Baze. “Tell me you troubles, stranger?” 

Silence, but when Baze spoke again, there was the tiniest hint of a smile in his voice. “I should get used to you being able to do that, huh?”

“I mean, just give me a rag, and I’d make the best bartender ever.” He pushed the package of cookies toward Baze, grinned when he heard Baze take one. 

“Just one, though,” Baze grumbled. “Or we’ll ruin dinner.” 

Chirrut laughed, loving the man more than ever. “Yessir.” 

He let Baze eat the oreo in silence, waited him out. He knew Baze would find the words he wanted to find soon enough. 

“You’re really good with kids,” Baze murmured finally, and Chirrut stiffened. He had  _ not _ been expecting that. “Good with Jyn, she really- the way she looks at you. Hero-worship.” 

Chirrut shrugged, color rising in his cheeks. “I practically grew up in a hippie commune, I had a lot of practice.”  _ Where are you going with this? _

“Do you- if you- do you want- kids- someday?” Baze’s voice was full of tension and worry. 

Outright objection was on the tip of his tongue, but suddenly Chirrut was nervous, too. What if- what if he said the wrong thing, here? 

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was about to make or break their relationship. 

“No?” he answered softly, then cleared his throat and answered with a firmer, “No.” 

He strained to hear Baze’s response: a barely audible sigh of relief. “You?” Chirrut asked. 

“No. No, I really, really don’t want kids. There’s something about- about coming home, and-”

“Having peace and quiet?”

Baze laughed. “Yeah, and not having to-”

“Worry about me tripping over the clutter they inevitably leave behind?”

“Chir- I’d- if you think you can’t because of your eyes-”

It was Chirrut’s turn to laugh. “No, no, it’s not that. That’s a nice, convenient excuse, though.” He took an oreo from the sleeve and dipped it in his milk. “I don’t want kids. I don’t think I’m going to change my mind, although one never knows, do they?” 

“You’re amazing with kids, though.” Baze was sounding resigned again. 

Chirrut made his way around the counter, got his hands on Baze’s face, etched over the lines of worry. “I’m good with kids. I’m also good with dogs, and I don’t really want one of those either.”

Baze’s worry eased a little under his fingers. “Are you sure? I don’t-” He bit off his statement, and Chirrut frowned. 

“Don’t want what?” Chirrut asked softly.

Baze drew Chirrut into his arms, then bent over to bury his face in Chirrut’s shoulder. “Don’t want you to leave me,” he mumbled into Chirrut’s neck. 

Chirrut slid his fingers through Baze’s hair, finding a small tangle and working on it gently. “I’m not leaving you,” he vowed, felt the vow etch into his heart. “I love you. You’re enough.” 

Baze gasped a little, then squeezed Chirrut more tightly to himself. Chirrut wrapped his arms around Baze’s body and gave as good as he was getting. 

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, until Baze left Chirrut and turned back to his chopping. No sounds came, though, and when Chirrut carefully slipped a hand over Baze’s, he felt Baze trembling. He ran his hand up Baze’s arm and caressed Baze’s cheek. “Hey, let’s just order in tonight, okay? I’m thinking Thai.” 

Baze nodded, and there, just in his palm, he felt the side of Baze’s mouth lift up in a smile. 


	2. How to get people to stop asking about children, Baze and Chirrut style:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a really, really brief joke Chirrut makes about being able to get Baze pregnant, which of course can't happen in this au, but if that kind of thing squicks you out, don't read this chapter, it's just banter, you won't be missing anything. 
> 
> This chapter is kind of based on this article about how to get people to stop pestering you about having children: http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/advice/a44825/ask-e-jean-i-dont-want-kids-how-can-i-get-people-to-stop-pressuring-me/

**_“When are you guys starting_ ** **your** **_family?”_ **

**Baze:** _ (Baleful glare.) _

**Chirrut:** Well, we’ve been having trouble conceiving, but we’re determined to keep trying, no matter how many times I have to have sex with Baze.  _ (Gently pats Baze’s knee.)  _

**_“Well, what about adoption?”_ **

**Baze:** _(Baleful glare.)_

**Chirrut:** I’m afraid my criminal record keeps us from that. I’m wanted in five states, you know.

**_“What, do you just not like kids?”_ **

**Baze:** _(Baleful glare.)_

**Chirrut:** Listen, Linda, not everyone in the world needs to have children.

**_"What's wrong with kids?"_ **

**Baze:** _ (Baleful glare.) _

**Chirrut:** _ (Exasperated sigh, starts ticking items off on his fingers.)  _ They’re smelly, they cost a lot, they take a lot of time, and frankly, I’m very selfish.

**_“Oh, but that’s different when they’re your kids!”_ **

**Baze:** _ (Baleful glare.) _

**Chirrut:** _(Baleful glare.)_

**_"I'm sure you'll change your mind! What if Baze wants kids?”_ **

**Baze:** _ (Short snort of disbelief.) _

**Chirrut:** We’ve been together for 17 years, I think we’ve got it covered.

**_“But I thought you loved_ ** **our** **_kids!”_ **

**Baze:** Yeah, he does. He also loves the Mariners but you don’t see him making an 18-year commitment to season tickets-

**Chirrut:** That’s actually a really bad example, I would  _ love _ 18 years of season tickets.

**Baze:** Okay, yeah, you’re right.

**_“You’ll regret it when you’re older.”_ **

**Baze:** Oh, now you’ve done it. You mentioned regret-

**Chirrut:** All is as the universe wills it. Regret is worthless. Have I ever told you about…  _ (launches into philosophy lecture for twenty minutes.) _

**_(Later)_ **

**Chirrut:** You know, they normally leave after I imply I’m going to get you pregnant. 

**Baze:** _ (Shrugs) _ Some people are dicks. 

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I am totally pro-people who want children having children. I am also not one of those people. :)
> 
> I'm @animalasaysrauer on tumblr. Thank you for comments and kudos!


End file.
